MORE . IDLE . REFLECTION
Looking back the other day at some of the articles I've saved from the net, I found a pleasingly concise description of what, essentially - almost two-and-a-half decades ago - tipped me to finally throw-in the towel so far as work was concerned. It was one reason, anyhow... and at the time was more an intuitive verdict than an intellectual one as implied by the practical nature of the issue►.
Another reason was acknowledging that I'm by nature an idler - which I've known since even before I was 5. The term 'idler' may not be quite precise here, but it's the nearest word I know that describes the disposition. At any rate, as well as an aversion for what's normally regarded as work, my response is to go into idle mode whenever confronted by conformists, traditionalists or anyone who likes rules, rituals, institutions and so on. In my experience, most of these are either entirely irrational or heavily biased against the interests of people like me. And if I look around in certain directions, all I see is the result of this bias: people fighting one another... I don't just mean wars and conflicts around the world - though that's part of it (and there's more than enough of those, to be sure) - but in everyday life: ie: cops against demonstrators, public against politicians, medics against the tobacco/alcohol/food industries, workers against bosses, profits against fairness.... exploitation versus resistance, untold opulence v abject poverty.... on and on it goes.
I look in other directions and see none of this. I see instead only the world I knew as a truant from school - those halcyon days of light and pleasure that few ordinary people get to enjoy. So why not, I thought, truant from work? And why not do so for the rest of my life? Bold questions indeed!
My work back in those final days of employment was technical, and struggle didn't come into it - apart from the effort of getting to work in worsening traffic. Nor did I ever have any real ambition, and was always bemused by people around me vying for various promotions or senior positions that struck me as eminently disagreeable and tiresome.
Though pleasant enough in the job ratings, after a decade in technical operations I thought: what the hell is this all about, this life (of work)? Surely, our old friend Epicurus had a point:
For Epicurus, the purpose of philosophy was to attain the happy, tranquil life, characterized by ataraxia—peace and freedom from fear—and aponia—the absence of pain—and by living a self-sufficient life surrounded by friends. He taught that pleasure and pain are the measures of what is good and evil; death is the end of both body and soul and should therefore not be feared; the gods do not reward or punish humans; the universe is infinite and eternal; and events in the world are ultimately based on the motions and interactions of atoms moving in empty space.
(I just nicked that from Wikipedia).
So although neither wealthy nor particularly motivated, I nevertheless decided that my best option would be to jump ship, as it were... and the rest is history.
BUT if that's the background from 25-years ago, how about these out-takes from an article now in 2013:
◄ here
And there we have: The same stale rhetoric, the same old hassle... as ever: The relentless Capitalist Disease. And I actually ESCAPED! Reflecting now, I'm amazed how easy it was.
THE MONUMENTAL CONFIDENCE TRICK
But then, with the kind of self-confidence I was dished-up with - or left with - as a kid, how could I not be amazed? True, when operating alone my internalised self-reliance has always been solid; the world of practical, scientific reality was always at my elbow: maybe I was born with a dexterity that eludes so many people: an ability to fix things, build things, achieve things practical. ONLY in the world of other people was my self-sufficiency challenged, attenuated, thwarted. I'm not talking about social or personal interactions and relationships here - this concerns only the institutional, the world of work, of effort, of oppression... and the difficulty was never down to shyness, ignorance or incompetence - though precisely how it was inculcated is a little obscure to me now. Certainly it stems from infant school, junior school, etc; and perhaps the process is too subtle to notice, or is contained in a succession of minor incidents too trivial to recall. It's an impediment, though, a hindrance, that I believe infected most of my peers too in those drearily protracted monochrome days of school back in the 50s. In those times, school existed - so it seemed - for some purpose other than to benefit us kids... as if, rather, it was to tame us, clip our wings, curb our aspirations, trammel our hopes, crush our inventiveness, quell our enthusiasm for learning and above all becoming... in short: to prevent our dangerous young creative minds from expanding to experience genuine autonomy... and from any risk of us one day challenging an iniquitous status quo and its economy designed for the exclusive benefit of a corrupt corporate elite.
